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The Wall Behind The Picture, or Why The Truth Matters!

Would you rather own a real size picture of a 2010 Mercedes, or a real 1985 Ford? How about the picture(s) of a million dollar, ocean front house, instead of a one-bedroom apartment? Well, the new Mercedes is no doubt better than the old Ford, and the house more enjoyable and heart lightening than the one bedroom. But it’s even more of a no-brainer that the real thing is way better than the picture. Well, it’s not even about better or worse. It’s simply that it “exists”! Pictures do exist also, I won’t argue. But in life, the car will get you around; the picture will –only- get your eyes round! The apartment will give you a real roof over your head; the picture a mere flat piece of paper that you can damage with a few drops of water or your bare hands. That’s the whole difference between truth and illusion, and what a huge difference!

Illusions do exist. That’s how they get to deceive us. They do have some type of existence. A flat existence, just like the picture. You try to go beyond the surface, and you either hit the wall, or, if you’re smarter than that, destroy the picture! When we are in less than smart states, we don’t learn from our mistakes, and we keep hitting the wall one time after the other. Our heads bleed, but we think that it’s just bad luck, and we try one more time. Then one more time. Oops! Then again just one more time! Ah! And we still can’t make the connection between the wall behind the picture, and our broken head!

Come on! I know we all realize the difference between pictures and real things, easily. I wish it were all that clear!

I will stop this post here. It’s too short, and may be I didn’t say all what I wanted to say. But that’s just how illusions are, frustrating. They give you the impression they hold something deep and real behind them, and you follow the road… to a dead-end!

That’s why the truth matters. And it’s worth looking for!

Time, The Scary Gift!

It seems to me that we get a little scared when we face “time”. I mean free time. We might have many things in our life that we’re not happy about, that we’d love to change. In most cases, we know what kind of actions we need to take in order to create change. We also realize that for these actions to be taken, we do need time. Change needs time that is free from the very same things that we need to change. For example, when we need to change our job, we need time to go about finding a new one, but our old job is already taking a lot of our time. So our only chance is our time off work, which is time free of what we don’t like.

Then what happens when we get this free time, when we are living it here and now? Logic suggests that we should be excited and enthusiastic to go ahead and use it. But what happens is far from that. When we have it, the first thing we think about is: how to get rid of it! Think about it, just sitting and watching some random TV, going out with friends and spending hours talking about nothing of meaning, etc. All are things that we actually do to get rid of, instead of use our free time. We can have fun from time to time and do pointless, yet relaxing activities, but when we do have things in our life that need to be changed, and we don’t use much of our free time to do something about it, then there is something seriously wrong in our relationship with this gift that is free time.

The reason why this beautiful gift becomes scary, in my opinion, is due to lack of purpose and lack of plan, lack of destination and lack of directions to get there. If we only have a destination, but no directions to get there, we will be stuck in inaction. All ways will look alike. All roads will look like they lead nowhere we like to go. Then we will only wander and look for ways to get rid of our time, because we have nothing better to do. But if we don’t have a destination, a purpose, we’d be in way more trouble. No point in comparing routes and examining different directions, they all lead somewhere we don’t want to go, because basically we don’t want to go anywhere! And that’s usually the real problem of chronic time wasters.

Another reason why free time can be scary is guilt. When we know we have nothing worthy to do, our heart realizes that this is not how we’re meant to live. We have the time; we don’t know what to do with it, so we get rid of it. Getting rid of time means that whatever you did during that time will make no positive difference whatsoever. Sometimes it even drains your energy. How many times did you feel you had less energy at the end of your weekend than at the start? I bet you did, and not once! This means you used your time off in activities that took more than they gave you. You didn’t build; you just destroyed. When you feel drained at the end of your time-off, get the signal. Your heart and body are trying very hard to talk to you. They have a true message: you got rid of a one-time gift, which is free time you had. They are being more sensitive to the truth of life than our everyday awareness!

We should receive gifts with joy and excitement. It only happens when we know both their use and their value. When you get a very nicely rapped gift, and you develop some high expectations about it, then you open it only to find something you dislike or don’t care for, you’d be disappointed, or neutral at best. But when you get a gift that you know you love, something you really wanted, then you’ll honor it. That’s how it should work with time, free time. We should develop a clear understanding of its value and our use of it, and we’ll be excited every time we have it. You will welcome it with joy and appreciation. You will be confident of its value and what it will bring you, because you have a purpose and you had a plan for it. And at the end of your weekend, I am sure that you will have a lot more energy than you started.

When this happens, our whole world will be upgraded to full colors, after it had been black and white!

Practice!

Falling, or failing, does not mean that we are incapable of success, it only means that we are still in the learning and training process.

Falling a thousand times!

Wise people told us that it doesn’t matter how many times we fall in our way to success, as long as we get up again and continue. Honestly, I get discouraged every time I fall, then I resist getting up again, thinking to myself why bother when I am sure to fall again, because this is what happened the last thousand times or so! Who knows, it could be the last 2 thousand times, I never really kept track!
When we are on the ground, we feel tired. We can’t initiate movement when we are in such state. Movement needs energy. Especially when it’s moving up, against gravity. We need more energy then than what we need when we are already up and running. Getting up after falling is the most difficult task in the journey.
I do agree that we have to get up a thousand and one times, or two thousand and one, or whatever. The real problem is the time we waste laying on the ground after the fall. The question is how? How can we not spend too much time laying down. Because when we fall we will feel tired and discouraged. I wish we could avoid that, but this is what will happen. Hitting the ground after flying does hurt. It can even break a piece or two in our emotional being. Is there a way to heal faster, to get the energy to get up without wasting too much time? I am sure there is. Thinking about it right now!

Does self-help literature really help?

Self-help books easily make it to the top sellers’ lists. Self-help gurus are millionaires. Readers, including myself, jump from one best-selling self-help book to the other, from one form of self-improvement content to the other. We read it, we listen to it when driving, and we love watching the masters on TV. But after all that, did we really get the help we need? Did this great book change our life? Did that breakthrough program move us from under-achievers to super-achievers?

I once was having a conversation with a friend of mine, a fan of self-improvement books himself. I said but you know what, self-help books do have a problem. They bring us a great deal of pleasure while reading them. Then that’s it. The pleasure stops there, at the reading. Then in order to have this pleasure again, we pick a new book. While we read those brilliant ideas, we already get a psychological fulfillment. We get excited, imagining ourselves doing all what the book is suggesting. Then when the reading ends, and the excitement fades, we still don’t have the will to change. Doing those things didn’t look as exciting as it did during the reading. The theory was more compelling as a theory than it was in action.

Does that mean I am against reading and listening to those beautiful things? No. Repetition is good on the long term. If we keep reading and listening to this type of ideas every day, we will at least benefit from it by improving our mood and having some moments of hope. But in order to have this benefit, we need not to have gaps. We need not to listen to one audio book, get excited, then stop for a month. Because this gap will then create something worse. We will feel incapable and weak. Guilt will be born, subtle but persistent. The undone promising ideas will torture us, will leave us depressed because we failed to do what we ought to do.

We need to come up with a consistent method to make use of what we read. Because if we don’t, it could work against us, instead of working for us.

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